Doo do-do-do-doo doo
- Billy Dilley - We're subterranean
- Billy Dilley - You're such a brainy kid
- Billy Dilley - It's fascinating how
- Billy Dilley - It's complicated now
- Billy Dilley - Situation critical
Billy Dilley, I hope it's fixable
- Billy Dilley - Ooh
Billy Dilley
- Hey, Billy, you want some grub? - What? Zeke!
I just saved your life, mister.
That food was spoiled.
Billy, you didn't save my life. You ruined my breakfast.
But your bacon and eggs are all green.
My secret ingredient. Food coloring.
It puts the green in my green eggs and... bacon.
Well, thanks anyway, Zeke, but I'm having brunch with Gorkager.
Billy, my boy, wasn't that the...
...finest brunch you've ever had?
Mr. Gorkager, sir, it was simply alive with flavor.
You Gorks have such a rich culture.
Take this exquisite item, for example.
The touching of secret Gork knickknacks
- is strictly forbidden. - Sorry.
It looks like my brunch has some fight in it yet. Back in a jiffy.
What have we here?
Touching is strictly forbidden.
Ooh!
Where's the fire?
Billy? Speak to me, Billy.
Grandma?
- Close enough. - What happened?
We was robbed, Billy.
Us Gorks' most ancient sacred relic has been swiped.
It's clear from your wound that you fought bravely,
but did you get a good look at the lowlife who stole our most prized possession?
No.
The only thing worse than a surface dweller is a thief.
What sacred relic did the ne'er-do-well steal anyway?
It was thousands of years ago,
when we Gorks were still but a primitive people.
That the Great Gork in the ceiling
blessed us by sneezing his glorious mucus,
which came to be known as the Glorp, down from on high.
This miraculous sign left absolutely no doubt
that we Gorks were his chosen people.
And from that day forward, everything has been hunky-dory.
Testify!
But today marks the end of dory-hunk.
No, this is unacceptable, to see a proud people like the Gorks
brought to their knees by a common thief.
No!
I will not abandon you in this, your hour of darkness.
Today, I will track down this criminal, and he will be brought to justice.
Today, I will see your sacred knickknack returned to its place of honor.
Today, I am your brother.
Today, Billy Dilley is a Gork!
No, you're not.
Yeah, but I'm gonna help you find the Glorp anyway.
All right, Gorkager, let's retrieve your stolen Glorp.
Now where was it last seen?
As we have done since olden times,
we keep our most sacred relic here,
perched on a rickety pedestal
Above a bottomless storm drain.
I think I just dropped the Gorks' most sacred and revered relic
down a bottomless storm drain.
What is it, Billy? Did you find a clue? I'd sure like to catch this scum
and have him properly beaten before lunchtime.
No one crosses the Gorks and lives to tell the tale.
Kinda hard to tell the tales with no mouth.
It's... There's a clue here.
Yep, this should break the case wide open.
That's great. There's nothing we Gorks love more
than busting things wide open. Like skulls, for example.
Well, You see these scratches in the dirt right here?
- No. - Yeah, sure you do.
There is one right here,
and there's one here.
I can't believe I missed them before. What do they mean?
Clearly some kind of flying creature landed here,
and then crept over to the pedestal, where it then hit me over the head,
and picked up the goblet and swallowed the Glorp whole.
And what manner of flying creature is responsible for this treachery?
Pterosaur?
Death to pterosaurs!
Ha, ha, yeah, well, too bad there aren't any pterosaurs around,
- guys? - Hold it!
What about that pterosaur?
Well, gee, what do you know?
All right, boys, when I say the word, we destroy that miserable creature.
- Is the word cranberry sauce? - Naw, that's two words.
It's more of a phrase, really.
Is it lugubrious? I've always liked that word.
- Gotta think fast. - You'll know this one.
- Is it spleen? - No, no.
- Yeah. - No!
- Petunias? - No!
It's please. Everyone should know that.
Please!
Wait!
Why are we waiting?
It wasn't the pterosaur. I found some new evidence.
- I know where the thief is. Follow me. - Yeah!
Please.
This is the guy.
He's got both arms, they're his arms,
this is, like, his hands.
This is, like, his torso part like this here.
You see, the great Gork in the ceiling saw this guy escaping with the Glorp,
and turned him into this thing,
to punish him.
You're a genius, Billy.
I guess we can go back to the compound now.
- Not you. - Wait, what?
You promised to find the culprit, which you did,
but we still don't have the Glorp.
That won't be any problem at all.
Good.
- Where am I possibly gonna find Glorp? - Boy!
At last, a moment away from Mumsy, where I can do my most favorite thing.
Spread sludge outside the castle grounds.
Now that's some ripe sludge.
That's delightful. I'll just sprinkle a little over here
- Raymond! - Yes, Mother.
No sludge outside the castle yard. Get a move on.
Yes, Mother.
My bunions aren't going to massage themselves.
This just might be easier than I thought.
Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy!
Thanks to you, Billy, we finally got our sacred Glorp back.
All in an honest day's work.
What the... This isn't Glorp. It's... sludge!
Who could be despicable enough to switch our Glorp
with something as foul as sludge?
- You said what? - I just said it was your sludge.
Well, then, we'll just work something out. They seem like reasonable folks.
I think maybe if we just grab Thurston and a few essentials,
- and get in the wagon... - Nonsense. I've been waiting for this day.
Boy.
- Thurston, keep the sludge vat primed. - Yes, Master. Yes.
- Give us back our Glorp! - Glorp!
I'll give you something, all right, Gorkager.
- Right between the eyes. - Wait!
Billy, would you get out of here?
Everybody listen. It was me who lost your Glorp.
- Come again? - But why?
See, I started playing with the Glorp when I slipped and knocked my head.
It must've fallen down that bottomless storm drain.
Billy, I'd like to commend you for your bravery in telling the truth.
- So you're not mad? - Mad? I'm absolutely ecstatic.
Now we get to the part where we dispense justice on that dastardly culprit.
- Can we maybe, talk this out? - Enough talking.
- Time for a new haircut. - Whoa!
Sire, look.
Ooh!
Could it be? Great Gork in the ceiling.
- What? - Is this indeed the sacred Glorp?
Of course it is, fool. Don't you know divine mucus when you see it?
We got our snot back!
- Let's go home. Please. - Home! Home! Home!
I love a happy end...
Excellent shot, Master.
Zeke, these pancakes are great. So good.
Well, they don't call me the pancake master for nothing.
Why do they call you that?
Lucky ducks, I got a Zeke hair!
Not mine. I always wear a hairnet when I'm mixing pancake batter.
- Marsha, can I see that? - Hey, find your own pancake hair.
Zeke is right. This hair belongs to Anaximander.
- He must be molting. - Molting?
It's all detailed in my Mr. Whatzit Explores Molting activity book.
There's a Whatzits of Molting Word Search, and a Whatzits of Molting Maze Craze,
as well as a Whatzits of Molting Connect the Dots.
- Okay, Billy, we get it. - Wait a second.
Anaximander is not scheduled to molt for another 17 days, 47 minutes.
- Fascinating. And compelling. - What do you see, Billy?
Well, on a purely physical level, this rat hair is...
perfectly normal.
So the reason for this unscheduled shedding must be,
Anaximander feels bad!
Do you feel bad, buddy? Try to stay positive, little man.
Everyone knows that when you feel bad, your hair falls out.
My Uncle Jasper had the same problem.
He not only lost all his hair, he also lost his marbles.
He became convinced he was a butterfly.
what happened to him?
Nobody knows.
- He flew away. - Guys.
Could you keep it down in here?
I'm trying to create a calm, peaceful environment for my pet.
Don't worry, buddy. You may be feeling bad now,
but Billy Dilley will have you feeling
like your old lovable furry old self in no time.
He's so brave.
This sure is the life, buddy?
Just letting the mind unwind in this bog sewer paradise.
Just letting whatever is bothering you
be carried away...
Boy, Leonard is sure in a feisty mood.
Good idea, Anaximander.
Green vegetables have been shown to calm the nerves.
No! He lost another hair. He's worse.
You're going about this all wrong. It's so obvious he's bored to tears.
What this guy needs is a little excitement,
and I happen to know just the thing.
Yeah! Whoo!
Yeah!
You lovin' this, dude?
I bet you never seen action like this before.
Ouch, my eye!
He's worse. Oof!
Poor Anaximander.
Happen to know just the right thing?
Now look at him. All you did was make it worse, Zeke.
I made it worse?
It's not like the sulphur springs did him any good.
That's a fine attitude. Blaming me for our little buddy's predicament.
- Well, if I was you I... - Yeah?
- Well, I don't think that's true. - Guys, guys. Guys!
- What? - What, what, what?
Anaximander, he's gone.
Not only that, he's losing hairs faster
than we can say the words "losing hairs."
And not only that... No wait, you already said that.
What are we gonna do, Zeke?
Hey, this reminds me of a story.
When I was little, and suffering from a chronic oozing skin rash,
my parents decided to put on a musical to show me how much I meant to them.
It made me feel so much better.
- That has got to be the wo... - Best story ever.
- Billy, what are you... - Quiet, Zeke. I'm thinking.
Studies have shown music has a positive effect on brain waves.
Maybe the answer to our little pal's miseries lies in the form of song.
That's crazy.
So crazy, it just might work.
Mi, mi... No. Mi, mi.
Two minutes to curtain.
Where's Anaximander?
Wait a minute.
- He's here! - He's here!
He's here! I mean, show time!
You were born in a refrigerated warehouse
Among the muck and filth
You looked a mess
So I thought it best to take you home
And nurse you back to health
You were just a little tiny baby
To think of all the scrapes We've been through
Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats...
Rats make everything better
Rats make everything good
Rats make everything better
They're just a little misunderstood
Take it away, feet!
Rats make everything better
Rats make everything good
Rats make everything better
They're just a little misunderstood
- Rats make everything... - Everything better...
(PLAYING "CHOPSTICKS")
Rats make everything better
Rats make everything good
Rats make everything better
What the...
So bright!!
Ooh!
Yeah!
Anaximander?
Wait a minute. If that's Anaximander, then who's this?
- That's not Anaximander. - That's a naked mole rat!
- Aww, she's so cute. - Wait.
What's a naked mole rat doing in Anaximander's seat?
More importantly, what's a naked mole rat doing in Anaximander's seat?
"Hair Removal Club 4 Rats"?
Anaximander wasn't feeling bad at all. He was losing his hair on purpose.
I'm glad that Anaximander is okay and all.
That means we put on that whole show for nothing.
Hey, Marsha!
Uncle Jasper!
Whoa! you kids must have had one heck of a party.
You got a lotta cleaning up to do.
I said you've got the wrong number For the right guy
I'll do the job for you Just pay the price
Run, run, run away
- Baby, stick to the plan - Whoo, whoo!
Run, run, run away, catch me if you can